Dear Trainer Foile
I didn’t mean to set you on fire. I did exactly what you told me to do. You should have expected it. Especially after I lit the garbage can, the printer, your wife’s prized geraniums, AND your lawnmower shed all on fire.
But please don’t give up on me! I’ve come so far. You know how hard it was for me to control my powers before.
You remember when I set the president’s limo on fire. Yeah, thank goodness the Agency was there to extract me. That what’s-her-name wind-pusher lady, now she was a stunning agent, and quick too, keeping my fires in check until Mac McGillihand came to wipe out everyone’s memories. Even though the wind lady did blow over the monument to
I am sorry that you’ve got stuck with me constantly. But it would be to difficult to switch between teaching styles on an irregular schedule. And I really didn’t mean to singe your pony’s hindquarters. Although I didn’t mind helping you get rid of that puke green couch. (Wink, wink). The purple one is much better!
I’m sure that in a few more days (well maybe weeks) Jim-Bob-Larry-Tows will allow me to go out on a mission! Maybe with that stunning wind lady! Or Miss Suzann… Or Wort-Meat would be fine too. Man I love his BLTs. Also, I’ve heard that there is really good lemonade provided for those who go on assignments.
Anyway, it’s time for my nightcap before I go to bed. I’ll have to give you the full recipe some time. All it takes is some Jalapeños, a ghost pepper, a red bell pepper, some Pepsi, and grenadine.
Ferdinand the Fire Starter
P.S. Thank you again for all your hard work and purchases of burn salve. I’m sure it will pay off soon!